12:40 made up poems

Heartbeats

Please don't walk away
don't fade away
don't rush into hush
Let me reveal, let me show
Then amidst all that,
please love me still.


If you're just a glitch
walk away.
I'm done with all the passer by
Let me have a real one.
The one that will stay
even if my hair turns to gray.


I don't need good mornings or good nights
if I can't lean on you during bad days
I don't need you to say eat on time
if you can't be there on waves
I don't need small talks
I need real ones.


I wish that today would finally be my day
a brand new start
a brand new life
I hope that finally I can call someone mine
a life with you
a moment to last
I pray that your love will never fade
a rain won't catch you cold
a sway won't make you go away.
So stay, please let it be you.

Read More

Every Sunday is a Memory

Collection of made up poems by yours truly.

Click the link to download the file. 

:)

Every Sunday is a Memory.pdf

Read More

4:40 Made up poems

(Made by yours truly :) 

I swam through the rivers of your soul

-it was so deep and void.

Made up of love’s sacrifices,

that’s never been returned.

How I love to dig down unto it more;

Even though my heart would explode.

You are like a shadow;

So vain and dishonest

I wanted you for all days,

Yet you came without rays.

I needed you when I don’t

Yet you’ve shown like before.

Unmade sheets are very special to me,

it is so honest that I can smell you from within.

It is so honest that I can play what memories lack.

It is so honest that I know I can’t have you back.

You leave me with a scar that’s naked.

Forever thorn, forever unshaken.

This is what you do when you left people’s heart out of the blue.

You show them how red can be hue.

How beautiful it is to meet a stranger,

not knowing you, not knowing him.

But stories are made for one another.

Goodbye to you my dearest man,

For once, I’ve been blown by your laugh,

For once, I’ve been shaken by your touch.

But now, for once, I’ve waken my soul to left you behind.

Simple things make the most of unexpected days.

It will give you peace you keep searching on unwanted scenes.

He’s like the last carousel ride in a fair;

Everyone’s done for the last trail,

Yet I am here round and around till I go.

My letters are not yet frozen,

It still has the mouth to speak out the words I long for you.

It is never been redesigned. It was always for you.

I watched through my window as the pink skies grow wider and wider.

It can fill up the whole town in its arm;

yet I’m still here yearning for love.

Read More

Where flowers bloom, where love grows. -My thoughts about love are growing.

My thoughts about love are finally growing, it’s finally maturing, and it’s finally taking its own path, making its own backyard.

Love is such a wonderful four letter word. But I have also come to realize that, with that four letter word another four letter words could sprout—Fear, Lust, Risk, Dare, Hurt, Care, Wait, Last, Like, Give, Hope and Many More. It’s like a mother giving birth to its children.

I love the idea of getting the love from watching movies, series or dramas. It feeds my mind to hope for something like that to happen to me. To make me believe that I can have someone like John Cusack in Serendipity, believing in fate, believing in destiny or just like every character of Ryan Gosling in a romantic film making you, making us want to love.

But somehow, I’ve come to realize, that these whole things of loving someone or just the word love itself is a tough one to catch. It’s a closed ring, between you and that ‘love’. You’ll be fighting one on one, blood by blood, and the winner takes it all.

I fell in love and it was a tough one.  I have learned so many things from it and from that kind of love I have experienced; I started to know what I wanted.

I want someone who can admire the less obvious in me, the one who can see deep inside of my smiling face, of my laughing dance or my crying eyes. I wanted a love that can see my reflections, someone that can’t judge me for my mistakes or failures or someone that can’t define me because of my wrong doings.

I want someone who can look me in the eyes so deep that it’ll bother for a moment but I can gaze back through him and everything around us will just be a blur.  I want someone whom I can dance in the kitchen while cooking or baking, someone who can dance with me in the rain or tag along with our favorite indie music.

Someone who can see me not wearing any fancy clothes or make-ups, but still see something in me that’s worth like the Heart of the Ocean. Someone who can be crazy with me at all times, the same wavelength I had. It’s like we are playing mind games but no one will win because both of us will get it.

I pray for someone who can make a song for me, not really making an original song but making a song his own song for me, owning it, that whenever I heard that song playing wherever I am, he’s the only one I can always think about.

Someone who can travel with me and be adventurous. Someone that can dream with me while gazing through the stars. Someone who can sip coffee with me in the morning and someone who can drink wine with me in the evening. Someone who is ready to learn new things with me. I water you, you water me, so we grow together. Someone I can lean on, happy or sad moments. Someone I can trust my life with it. Someone who never let go, someone who never leaves. Someone who will hold you until you fell asleep from crying. Someone who can laugh at your silly jokes. Someone who is honest.

Someone that is really meant for you.

Someone I can be with to pray every time.

Most of all, a person that I can also be that ‘someone’ to him.

Or maybe, just someone who can love me.

There's no harm in praying for someone like that to come into your life anyway. Who doesn't? Love makes you feel like a romantic writer anyway. 

Read More

15 Thoughts about love that I always wanted my heart to remember

1. Find someone who admires you for something less obvious

2. You will never heal by going back to what broke you

3. Give love you never got

4. A person who values you would never put themselves in a position to lose you

5. You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free

6. You will never have to chase what wants to stay with you

7. If you have been brutally broken, but still have the courage to be gentle to others, then you deserve a love deeper than the ocean itself.

8. The person who did this to you is broken, not you

9. It's not love's job to punish you

10. The absence of a lover is not the absence of love, I am my own belly butterflies, my own sunshine, my own warmth

11. Go for someone who is not only proud to have you, but will also take every risk just to be with you

12. Love is not your savior. Love is the luxury after you save yourself

13. When you lose someone, it is never the exactly the same person who comes back

14. If you don't belong, don't be long

15. When someone leaves, it's because someone else is about to arise

Read More

To all the boys we loved before

     

     **To the guy I’ve known for so long, who suddenly become my best friend, my super bud, my food buddy and my confidante, partners in crime for life right? Thanks for being with me all the time you never know how much I appreciate this kind of friendship that we have. It isn’t for just a good time, I know. It feels so easy to talk about anything with you and it feels so safe to share about my problems with you without being judged. I can get the most exact comments from you, no filter, no sugar coating of words, you just say the exact truth. We laugh at the most bizarre things, we act like brothers, we share the common grounds and I thank heavens for sending me a friend like you. No drama.

**To the guy I’ve already forgiven, now. Now is the time I guess, to fill my heart with forgiveness. I will never forget of course, but surely I can forgive you. I don’t want to dwell in that gloomy past. I love myself so I am forgiving you.

**To the guy I’ve met in a deserted lane. We’ve crossed the same path, made a quick glance to one another, held hands but eventually didn’t stay for too long, it’s okay. We didn’t push ourselves too hard. Maybe it’s right, it feels okay but not right for too long. It just happened that we’re walking on that lane for the same day, but have different journeys to take.

**To the guy I’ve hoped. I still didn’t get the chance to meet you or maybe I already did? I don’t know. Maybe we already crossed the path, tend to look on each other but never said anything. I’m wondering what kind of lesson I might get from you. But surely, we’ll know each other.

**To the guy I gave nothing but heartaches. I am deeply sorry. You met me at my worst, where all things just go wrong in my mind, where I can’t think straight, where my only concern is my well being. You love me but all I did was to break your heart. You’ll always be a part of my life, strange as it seems, I learned a lot from you.  Selfish to realize but yes, someone can love me and can offer his whole Universe.  Thank you and sorry, I know you’re doing well now and I wish you well.

**To the guy who crossed my path for a thousand times, I guess you’re free now. I can’t say more, cause all my letters in the past were always about you. So I’ll just stop here for good.

** To the guy, I’m giving my heart, please take care of it. Please have patience with it, please have it for a lifetime. Let’s be psychos, weirdos and crazy together. I can’t wait for the moment when the both of us are just two individuals, watching the sunset, watching the rain from outside, sipping coffee, reading books, going anywhere or nowhere, watching movies (Either X-men or Before sunset will do), telling our stories, fighting to worthless or significant topics we will encounter, or maybe just being us, just two individuals with the same insights and feelings. Let it be like an indie song. 

Read More

The Perfect "Snogging" Playlist

Imagine this. A not so new but usable car, a group of crazy friends, a perfect night, a road trip, an event of your favorite band, a perfect place, something like a record studio, maybe? and of course your man/lady sitting next beside you, what could possibly go wrong? 

Ah... maybe the perfect song for you guys to start the sparkle? Have it my way. 

1    1.  John Gold-“Vampire’s Kiss”

    “We are love, we are taken for granted
      I'm only here for this moment”

2. The real Tuesday weld-Last words

  “You said you loved me and I kind of believe that

    But these days, who knows what it means”

3. Alabama shakes-Always Alright

    “So you took me to party you got me alone 
     Said you wanna feel good and you feel like you're gonna explode"

4. She & Him-Thieves

    “And I know, and you know too that a love like ours is terrible news

      But that wont stop me crying no, that wont stop me crying over you”

5. Wild nothing-Only heather

          “Dressed in the moonlight and paler than bone she has got something that I've never known

            I couldn't explain it, I won't even try she is so lovely, she makes me feel high.”

      6. The xx-VCR

    “Watch things on vcrs with me and talk about big love I think we're superstars”

7. Jake bugg-Simple as this

    “I've been falling, crashing, breaking all the while you were stood here waiting
      For me girl”

Read More

Why we keep on coming back?

Dear _____,

I have a song for you.

“True love they use to say won’t leave you astray, but hey babe we can start all over again, we’re going home”. There may be a hundred reasons why we failed in the first try, a hundred reasons why we broke up, a hundred reasons why we decided and called it quits. But if there’s one reason why we always wanted to come back, maybe that reason is too strong compared to the hundred reasons why we grow apart. That one reason maybe could bring us back together again. To start again, to add it in our memories, that time we might grow together again.

But people don’t always get lucky. Not all of us can get a second, third or fourth chances in lives. So when we have it, when we are able to grab those chances, we should keep it as an air in our lungs. Treasure it and don’t ever waste it.

Given us the familiarity, that certain voice or feelings, we should keep it alive. We should bury it in our hearts; no one can steal it, trust me it’s ours. 

This should be kept a worthwhile memory.

Read More

The Breakup Playlist (Feel it until you Mend it)

Here are the 10 songs that will give you all the #feels for having a ripped open wounded heart. Ouch.

1. I hate to see your heartbreak
   -Even the Paramore's lead singer Hayley doesn't want you to be broken. She definitely gave the right words to explain it "There is not a single word, in the whole world that could describe the hurt..."

2. I wanna get better
    -Contrast to the sad, slow songs you often listen to, try this Bleacher's song and make a rhythm while you're telling to yourself "you'll get better"

3. Are you lonesome tonight?
   -Nothing can kill the King. Listen to it, it might send you to sleep after you cried your heart out.

4. Feels like we only go backwards
   -Sometimes while feeling the pain, we suddenly felt so numb & like floating in the air like a dust. Well, this song might put you into solitude.

5. Flightless bird
   -You aim to fly and touch the clouds, but suddenly in your most unexpected moment something snaps out of you and you fall so hard that it made your wings broken. You can't flap your wings right now, but you better fix it.

6. Fix you
    -The bridge of the song, says it all.

7. Lay lady lay
   -When you feel so sad, Bob Dylan is the perfect date.

8. The Scientist
   -It's like "shut up, take my money and play that music"

9. Skinny Love
   -You're so shy you can't admit it. It's like also having a heart speaking love but no one's listening.

10. Lost it to trying
    -You know when to stop and to give up & sometimes it makes you stronger, cause you let something go after it holds you back for so long.

Read More

A letter from the girl about celebrating V-day in two special ways

                You did two things for me.

The guy I dated last Valentine’s Day was from the same school I attended. He was the guy that every cheerleader’s cheering for, he was the guy that every guy’s friend would love to hang out to, because he’s simple and yet funny. He was the guy who kept his intelligence by himself and I know that because once, we’ve competed in a home economics test.  He may be sometimes getting a lot too serious about business matters but one day along the hallway I saw him smile. That was the day I thought that this guy might be my future. I know I get too fast and that’s not right, but one thing I know that the cupid thing was right. I am finally feeling the fast beating of my heart.

                Summer came along and I can’t remember how happy I am, because on summer camping, there he was, the guy who wears a simple t-shirt but look so handsome and the smile that can lift up even the heavy boxes. I am truly into him. The rest of the summer stories were a history. We didn’t talk, we didn’t hang out, but at least we know each other’s by name. And at that one shot of the night, he asked my number.

                If you watch too many movies, I bet you know what happened next. Valentine’s Day: I wear red dress, do my simple make-up trick and just lay back my long hair. Once upon time we thought we were lovers, we thought that everything was magical and alright. That was the first V-day I had with him and that is the good one.

                The second and maybe should I called the last V-day I celebrated it with him was the day I finally had to let go of him. It was hard and it was awful, I thought it was the end. I thought that celebrating that event is very stupid.

Until once upon a time again… while walking alone and celebrating V-day, crying. Someone offered me a bouquet of roses and there was the guy in the camp, the other guy I barely know but knows a lot of me. The other guy who always watched me, the other guy who was a friend with the g guy who left me, the other guy who got my number. He was that… guy and from that special day I didn’t walk alone.

Read More

For Guys: Have her with your mouth (Better ways to communicate with your girl)

Dear Stagger guys,

                                I use the word “stagger” as an adjective and not a verb, for all the guys who mostly happened to be shaky and unsteady when it comes talking to your “special girl”, we’ve all seen this kind of scenario in movies, right? If you guys remember the movie I love you Beth Cooper, then mostly you know what I mean. I bet you also know the Sorcerer’s apprentice right? The guy staggers his words whenever he sees or started talking with the apple of his eye. Believe me, it only happens to be that unfortunate because these guys mostly fell out of love, fell out of sight and mostly, fell out of words.

                                Then here comes the guy who has all the confidence in the world, the football player guy, the varsity player and the hunky-dunky in campus. They all communicate well when they talk to their team mates, coach, teachers, or some other girls in campus but not to the one who they truly admire. And that’s where the issue comes.

                                Some other guys thought that talking too logical or too intelligent will make them superior in conversation leading to the false belief that this kind of talking will make their girl fall for their words, but some girl, they don’t buy it. They don’t actually swallow your word-tionary.

So, to make her finally decide that you’re someone’s worth talking to, and maybe someone’s worth wasting the night with, then here are some tips for you guys!

(             (1)    Don’t be too logical.

                                -Yes, it is good to hear some witty words to you guys, but not to the point that you overcome your girl’s emotion and believes. Believe me, it will hurt them. Thinking that this guy is being too logical for their first date is a no no. So try to listen and sympathize and move on after.

        (2) Don’t tell stupid things

                                -You know the stupid things, you know that. Now, when it comes to the girl don’t tell words that will make them think that this guy is too cocky or too selfish.

        (3) Have an answer

                                -This is mainly the thing, when she asks you “What do you want to eat?” most guys will answer “I don’t know, what do you want to eat?” The thing is girls and also guys don’t know what exactly we want or feel. So when they asked you give an answer, at least you made a comment, an idea for her to based, if she doesn’t likes your idea, then at least you could know, and if she does, then you win.

        (4) Don’t interview

                                -This is about getting to know the answer, not the case that the girl is applying for you as an assistant. Sure, you want to know her likes or what kind of things she get interested, but always remember that you like this girl and you want to know more about her, not in the matter that you have to interview her. Talk and have a real conversation.

        (5) Sorry not sorry

                                -Just stop saying the sorry. Putting the word sorry before and after the sentence makes you lame in front of her, plus it made some girls think that you truly made something wrong.

PLUS: A manly hand shake will always do the first introduction of you. Depending on how you acted on your firm grip hand shake with another man then somehow it defines how you firstly communicate with them. For your girls, have the proper hand shake if you know what I mean.

Read More

Letter to the guy who I almost Love

To my almost boyfriend;

                Wow, I would just like to tell you that I will not sugar coat everything about us. I will strictly come to the point. Why I even wrote this letter? Because I am scared, scared of being just your almost lover. Simple as that but harder to swallow. I like you. I like you since when you started talking to me about you, about your football games, about how you like your steak rare, about how your granny loves you and how you hate your dad. We got along together, we click like heels, we groove like a dancer. I like how you smile, how you treated me like a princess, like how say my name “Olive”, like how you get jealous so easily. I am not an easy catch and I can say that you win my heart, you got me, and you did your best to make me feel comfortable about us. I can’t blame you; you’re not hard as I thought. You got my wings fly. I am not expecting anything. But why you have to tell me not to talk to any boys in school? Especially Taylor? Why am I not suppose to eat alone in lunch without you? Why we have to hang out in weekends? I can’t find the answers because you never tell me.  Sooner or later I find myself falling so hard with your handsome face, I can’t resist the fact that I am head over heels with you. I love the whole you. But you just made me feel like a trash. Suddenly you’re too sweet but most of the time you ignore me. I can’t think hard enough. I don’t know the answers. Are you just using me to fill your dull moments? Or am I just feeling the wrong emotions for you? Is it because for you I am just a friend? Ouch. If so, then be honest with me sweety. I don’t want games especially in the name of love. I want the honest answers about this. Can you? Can you just honestly talk to me straightly?

Can you somehow not treat me your almost darling?

                                                                                                         Love, Olive (An almost love letter)

Read More

WHY DO WE STAY ON INTOXICATING RELATIONSHIPS? LEAVE OR STAY?

People create the illusion of love. Why do we need to love? Why someone has to love? Is it really needed? For some quite reasons, YES, it is necessary. Just imagine why. You wouldn’t work so hard on that stupid office not if your love one’s depends on you. You wouldn’t study so hard on those stupid textbooks not if your mom whom you love wants you to learn and grow. You wouldn’t eat those damn green veggies not if you love yourself and your body.

Same things as here. Why do people stay on relationship that is full of sick lame gestures and is intoxicating? It is like you’ve eaten a lot and you’re already full but still you need to eat the remaining dish. Too much and you’re already going to vomit.

Too much is bad. Too much will make you feel like drowning.

But why do people have this power to swallow everything and just say “its okay” even though it’s not anymore?

We give our partner’s a chance- The reason why you keep on staying even though your heart doesn’t feel so happy is that you don’t lose the chance to hope that someday he’ll/she’ll change, for the better, for the both of you to be happy. You let yourself thinking that “I love him/her so I’ll wait” you wait and you wait. You stay because you know he’s/she’s better than that, he still can make you happy. She still can understand you.  At some point it isn’t bad, it can be three things (1) You love him/her so much that you are willing to wait (2) You’re just afraid to admit to yourself that there’s no turning back, that you made a mistake of choosing, of deciding (3) Your ego.

You get suddenly deaf by hearing the word ‘Alone’- Nobody wants to be alone. No one. If you want to be ALONE for the rest of your life then you better get your packs on and live on MARS. We all need someone, somebody to lean on, to give on, and to receive on. “No man is an island”. So just by thinking that you leave your partner, you became suddenly panic about the world “ALONE”, you can’t be alone right? You are afraid that after breaking up with your partner, you ended being alone. You suck on dates; you don’t know the right thing to do. You suddenly feel new about the dating cycle. But will you still stay even if you keep crying at night?

You’re afraid to leave “The one”- This is wrong, love isn’t about being assured, being assured that you should always have someone, assured that you will get home bringing something and nothing. But love is a game you see? You have to make a bet. How you’ll know if he’s the one or she’s the one if you’re not trying to make a chance of a lifetime to bet?

You thought about not moving at all- We are human and so we are not safe of anything, sooner or later we’ll all get hurt—by someone— strangers or even the love of your life. The thing is why you should keep on staying on a relationship that’s teaching you to move on SLOWLY and PAINFULLY? It is just the dead end, you have to MOVE ON.

There are two things either you stay or leave.

Stay- Okay, give them a chance, see what will happen, see if he’s/she’s keeping up. See if you can no longer take the pain, the hurt, see if you can still love the same person everyday but still keeps on hurting you, without him knowing it.

Leave- Take a gamble, decide whether to love yourself above all and choose to be happy. To choose to meet new friends and decide to achieve your pasts dreams, to live by yourself, to explore and learn more things about you, to take a rest and take everything slowly and finally to gamble again for falling in love.

Read More

THE TEN BLUNT PHRASES YOU USE WHEN YOU’RE “IN LOVE”

Photo via: We heat it

Falling In Love. Feels like Forever. Feels like unending, infinite, and it lasts forever. It brings us into many things, it made us feel the different emotions we thought we don't have and in the same way it taught us to survive in the world of fantasy and reality. Falling in Love has so many definitions. It has so many words and languages. It has so many feelings.

But here are some phrases/sentences that lovers usually say when things are still on the mountain top.


-We both felt it, I mean… the “sparks”

Photo via: Tumblr

-We have these special connections, you know, that kind of wire that connects us.

 

Photo via: Tumblr

-With you, forever won't be too long.

Photo via: Tumblr

-She’s/He’s the one for me. I know that

 

Photo via: Tumblr

-Life is incomplete without you.

-We have both the same likes, like music, he likes Foo Fighters and so do I.We understand each other, we are meant for each other.

Photo via: Tumblr

-Since the day I saw him/her I know she’s/he’s the one I’m gonna marry

Photo via: Tumblr

-He's/She's my True love, my happy ending.

Photo via: Tumblr

-I'm head over heels for you.

-We are perfect for each other

Read More