Every Sunday is a Memory

Collection of made up poems by yours truly.

Click the link to download the file. 

:)

Every Sunday is a Memory.pdf

Read More

Black bird fly (Beat depression!)

Hello, darkness my old friend...

Maybe: It started out when you felt nothing for weeks. It’s like gazing into the stars but not feeling overwhelmed or excited. You looked into the stars but not really seeing them, staring into nothingness. Then you felt okay, for days, for weeks and even for months. The idea of getting numb suddenly came by like an uninvited visitor. Then it crawls into your deepest nerve, paralyzing you. You don’t want to move, to eat nor go to work. You just wanted to lie in bed for days, looking at your sad dog beside you. You felt empty again.

To tell you now, we don’t know how it really started or the reason why it started. Maybe because of some circumstances that happened to you that you really didn’t like and never been proud of, or maybe because of some people drowning you, that unknowingly you’re letting them in into your lungs, then it’s getting harder to breathe or maybe just because of the life you have that never excites you anymore, like finding your whole meaning or purpose in the world but never having any answers, or maybe because you don’t feel loved or liked by someone or just even hating yourself, or maybe because you lose your friends to keep in touch or maybe because your family never ask how your day went or asking if you are okay, or maybe just the feeling that people aren’t so nice at all after you’ve shown them the real you, or maybe just because you hate yourself for being stupid, for not being cool enough to join a group, for your mistakes, for  failures or for the love that’s never been appreciated. Maybe you’re just suddenly tired, giving up.

I don’t know. We don’t know.

What you just know, is that it enters into your system like a dark smoke, creeping
into your nerves, injecting Valium. Then you allowed them.

Now, the thing is, you’ve never shown this to anyone. You acted okay, you acted fine, you acted happy and it turns out, you’re an actress in your own movie. But no one’s watching.

You’re so sad because you started losing yourself

How to get back?

Really, you just don’t know.

Then like a thunder it, shocked you.

You have to choose the emotions you wanted to enter into your mind. Mind is a very powerful organ in your body. It controls you for some reasons.

The mind is the devil’s playground. But your heart is what God has made you to wake up.

Wake up from the couch that you’ve been sleeping in. If you stay too long in your bed, they’ll take away your things. Remember that.

So you have to get up.

Maybe we forget to pray; maybe we’re the ones who are detaching ourselves from friends, family, home, or the world. It's not your fault. 

And it's okay to acknowledge your feelings, because it is you.
But I also do believe, that beyond all of these, you are one of a hell strong person. You are so strong to hold onto these things, for carrying them and I love you for that. 

Don’t let that define you. Don’t let it in.
But right now, I want to you to give yourself a tap on your shoulder. You did good and honestly you can be more. Now, try to smile a bit. Inhale and exhale.
Try to focus on the good things. Try to let the light in. Don't be too hard on yourself. Accept yourself fully. Life's too short, get up and raise your arms. Let's try again.

We’re not perfect and that's okay. Get the grip loose. It’s time to take a deep breath and get high on fumes.

Read More

A letter to myself

DEAR ___________

First and for most, I am proud of you no matter what. You’ve come a looong way. This isn’t the time to give up. I know you miss your old self, the old _______ who can smile and be positive about the world, the old you who is a friend to all kinds of people, a hardworking _____, the one who busy herself doing amazing stuffs, the one who is afraid to get a low score test, the one who is imaginably a dreamer for herself and for her family. The old ______ is happy, I know. She never minds the bad in this world, for she doesn’t know back then, all she can see is a bright future, a happy world to live in.

But now, you have learned so much in this world. World isn’t about black and white, no, there are gray, red and blue, it depends. In short, you have learned that the world is not just one sided, it has many faces. You have learned to realize this, because of some experiences that brought you here. Life cannot offer you everything. You have learned love in a deeper way, you started disliking people, and you started to distrust people, even yourself. You have come to realize that fear is eating you alive. You have come to know that you can’t please many people in this world that some people just simply don’t like you and for that, you tried to make another version of you. You tried to be somebody else and it finally came to you that you’re not happy and sooner the system will just eat you up. You started to learn that there are different people in this world, different kinds, angels and monsters, bad and good, superstars and goons. You started knowing your real friends. You kinda made an organization, there are friends just for travel leisure, for fun and games, friends at work, friends you just say hi for a second, and luckily, friends that stays forever.  I tell you what, life isn’t black and white, it is a rainbow. For that, you finally came up with an answer that life is a coloring book, you choose what color to be put on.

When you’re still a child you only see the beautiful basic colors that makes up the world, but when you grow up, you finally realize that there are gray, maroon, fuchsia and beige. You suddenly learn the color palette. In this world, you strive hard, you really did. If you don’t then why are you here anyway? Some people will let you down, judge you, belittle you but let me tell you this, they don’t own you. You own yourself, you have the control besides God, so another thing, ask him. There are moments in your life when you didn’t know what to do, when you are stuck suddenly in a middle of nowhere, you can’t walk a little because you just didn’t know what to do. So, ask God for directions. Just remember, that always do what you love, always reach for that dream, never stop, always give your hundred percent at everything, because in the end, it will pay you a reward. Life isn’t depressing at all, you are not the only one who thinks and feels like an idiot for a moment. When you feel you’re worthless, don’t stay in bed for too long, stand up. And if your parents started nagging you for doing nothing, maybe they are right, you have to do something, cause time’s running up, it won’t wait you, maybe you’re late but you can catch up and when the time comes that you already know what to do, you’re just exact in time. Maybe you’re in a line between “going there” to “finish”, we all are. These feelings of loneliness, sadness, it will fade away once we know who we really are and what we are here for. It is a journey, so embrace every of it. We will all end up being happy and whole at the end. Just remember, don’t stay too long in bed. There’s still a chance for everyone.

Read More

10 WAYS FOR A HEALTHIER AND HAPPIER YOU; BETTER EACH DAY

It’s been quite awhile since I’ve been reading 365 ways of a healthier and happier you better each day by Jessica Cassity and before having this book I have a loooong way of figuring out which and why to buy a book for that day. Actually that day, I feel so down and uneasy with myself that I have decided to buy a book that will inspire me. (1) What career to choose on (2) Do I need to change directions? (3) Misdirection of what path to choose on (4) How to be happy and successful. These are the thoughts that keep on playing in my mind while I scan the books and find my perfect match.

I have come to like 6 books. (1) How to be successful in your chosen career (2) Things that scares you (3) Things that inspires you (4) Steps on moving forward (5) The answer to your questions (6) The book I have finally chosen.  I am really torn to number 1, 5 and 6. But I chose the latter. 365 days for a happier you, hmmm sounds good for spending 800 php for a book. It will be a great help for me every day since every time I can read just one page on it and then learn something from it to hopefully apply on that specific day. I haven’t finished the book yet, of course. But while I’m scanning, I have chosen ten things that I/You can do for a day and just ease your mind and somehow feel better than okay.

(1)   Television viewing doesn’t actually let you unwind – Instead, go for a walk or look at the nature outside if you really wanted to relax, cause watching TV, is not really for relaxation, it is for entertaining so having said it, your mind is still working. They’ve said that just by looking a tree outside, it will make you feel good somehow, because a tree represents hope.

(2)   Don’t skimp on sleep – Sleep deprivation will lead your brain to function below its full potential. If you have a presentation/exam tomorrow better prepared earlier and take a nap to refresh your brain because if you keep on studying even if you’re tired, 40% of the information will take in into your brain. (P.S Sometimes, this thing does not go well to many of us, but at least try some time and observe if it works on you).

(3)   Nix the iced tea to prevent kidney stones – According to Loyola University Chicago’s Stritch School of Medicine, if ice tea is your favorite thirst-quencher, you may likely to put yourself into having kidney problems. The culprit is oxalate, a chemical found in tea that is the key for the formation of small salt and mineral crystals. So, I might be ordering lemonade or water that can actually inhibit the growth of kidney stones.

(4)   Invest in Happiness – This is an all time favorite tag, yet it is true. Studies shows that spending money on shopping can make you actually feel better but sooner declines, but having to spend your money on a weekend vacation, having to learn diving or exploring the beaches or fell in love with the nature, it is much more satisfying and a good start to invest.

(5)   Deter dementia with higher education – European researchers have actually added to your pro-school list. If you’re thinking of going back to school again, chances are you reduce the risk of having dementia by 11%. Scientists found that for each year of education you accumulate, education somehow makes the brain better able to compensate for changes brought by dementia.

(6)   Addicted to your ex? Just wait it out – This is how it goes, researchers from New York and New Jersey looks at the brain of an individual who has been recently rejected. According to them, part of the brain that responded to the experiment while the individual was looking to photos of her ex was the same area that is active when cocaine addicts experience cravings. You see? It is an addiction, but an addiction to a person can be broken, unlike any other addiction, IT TAKES TIME.

(7)   Your slim-down secret weapon: A bus pass – It is just simply saying that, one way to slim down is by taking a bus for a ride because according to scientists, it actually helps you to lose weight! Plus, it saves you from spending money on your gas and parking!

(8)   Free yourself from the fear of failure – We all have been talking about this, don’t be afraid, try it out and work it out. “Fear of failure is related to a form of perfectionism, specifically what researchers refer to as socially prescribed perfectionism” according to David E. Conroy, PhD.

(9)   Protect your skin like a pro – Summer is really ON! And it feels like you’re too tired to celebrate summer when the sun is tickling your skin too much! So here’s a tip. Use a sun block instead of sun screen, because sun block has more broad spectrum and usable on all skin types, causing less irritations. Also, reapply at least every two hours while outdoors.

(10)The benefits of saying Thank you- Don’t let good deeds go un-thanked. Saying thank you can actually lead you to an improved mood. Reflect on the ways that others might actually did something to you and touched you, recognize this people by just simply saying thank you.

Read More

What to do when you feel like giving up

             “Don’t stop believing… hold on to that feeling”

                                                                        -Journey

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.”

                                                            -William Shakespeare

There are moments in our lives when we feel like we are alone in this dark and empty room, that is full of the things we almost scared about, the things we don’t supposed to see and feel and the things that mostly, eat us alive. We are all human and it is given that we are capable of anything, anything that makes us humane. There are sudden moments in our lives that we feel unimaginably happy and excited, moments in our lives where we almost feel like a feather just floating in the air, or moments in our lives where we feel invisible or just walk into nothingness.

When we’re happy it carries us for a moment, but when we are so down it occupies the moment in our life. But don’t let it take you over.

Whoever you are right now, reading this, I want to help you get through this.

1.      

      You are never alone

Simply think that it is not only you who experience this kind of stuffs. The only difference is how you deal and act on it. Some may passes it by, some don’t actually care, some may be so depressed right now or some may actually thought that they’re bigger than what they’re facing for. And for that, you’re never alone. Share it to a trusted one, your family, your friend, your sister or brother, but most especially share it to your creator and savior.

2.       Remind yourself, why you started this.

Of course, there are reasons for all the causes. Why you ended up depressed or sad? Why give up? What’s the reason to give up? But the root of all these, why you started it off at first? And believe me, if the reason is too strong, you won’t give up.

3.       Don’t hate the player! Change the game!

If you really thought that you’re not good enough at that certain moment in your life, then don’t really hate yourself! Find a way to get what you want! Change the game! Be the rules! Don’t give up!

4.       There is sunshine after the rain

Cliché it may seems but even the song makes up a point. There are no up if there are no downs, no dawn if there are no dark. There is no harm in trying, give it a shot, don’t give up on the first try! And when you feel like you’re in the lowest point of your life, don’t let it knock you down!

5.      Be able to know when to quit.

Sometimes it is not time to give up. But it may be time to quit what you are doing and to try something else.  Giving up something you like is harder than to let go of the things you surely forget in an instance. If you feel like giving up or you are bored a lot, if you feel no real passion or excitement or curiosity change your course. But remember, do not give up if it’s really in your mind and soul, if the fateful bliss of yours keeps whispering to do it that this is the right thing to do, then why not try to do it again?

Read More

What it feels to have a best friend like “Ms. Bulgaria?”

  

First, congrats Miss Universe Pia Wurtzbach!

Today’s Miss Universe 2015 has been super trendy especially on different social media accounts due to what happened on the said event. And Filipinos are very hooked on the event making them to create different memes and using hash tag like #columbianized. It really becomes a main issue especially the announcement of the Miss Universe winner by Steve Harvey, the some scenes of ‘disrespecting’ Miss Universe Pia by other candidates, Miss USA being the “best bestie” of Pia and of course the supports of other candidates like Miss Myanmar and Miss Malaysia and the trending Miss Bulgaria for showing the energy of supporting our Queen Pia.

Having a supporting bff throughout your whole event in life is really a great gift that life can offer to you. It is rare to find one. So when you know you have one, keep it.

“I’d rather have one REAL Best friend than 10 casual friends”

                It is like having a soul sister. You guys are really compatible, the perspectives, the ideas, and the interests are same. Both of you share the same views and outlooks in life. And it is true that it is more a blessing to have a one true real friend than to have so many friends that at the end of the day you can’t count on or you can’t even think to invite for a cup of coffee outside cause you feel indifferent.

“With friends, it is a matter of timing”

                Being in the right place at the right time, and we shall meet again. When it comes to friends, some come and some may go, but the best people in your life, will always stay. And in a cycle of friends, others may not go to some gatherings, others may always attend, but it doesn’t mean that the one who didn’t go that much will not stay in your heart.  Regardless of how many friends we have in our lives or how many cycles we have gone through, there is one thing that we are always searching for — and that is someone we can call a “best friend.”

“Finding a new best friend is as hard as finding your soul mate”

                That’s why when you know you found it, keep it. Even though both of you have something to be done of and need to separate a little while, continue to keep in touch and always remain the pact you guys did. It’s just distance. When you love someone and value them, meters won’t matter. As long as both of you are growing and achieving your dreams, just always support one another.  No matter how long it has been since you last met or how far apart you are, whenever you meet again it feels like home.

“Sometimes home is not a place”

                It is really good to have someone you can always count on, even if your day is sunny and can laugh all day and smile, even if your day is winter and cold and you need to cry for help and even if your day is just as cloudy as your heart. If you have a real best friend, you find a safe place, you became true and no need for hiding, cause she’s also true to you and no need for faking it. You find a safe home.

“You two can read each other’s mind”

                It’s nice to know you have someone who can think the same way you does. You can finish each other sentences or can understand things by just a glance. You guys have the same taste of friendship; you know how to ease each other’s feelings and no need to sugar coat things. It’s an instant connection that makes your heart feel warm.

If you have one, well congratulations!

Read More

Why you should travel alone for sometime?

1. Solitude
The world outside is a terror. You only have yourself to calm your thoughts and feelings, to get away from a hungry world. Being quiet is different from solitude. You have the inner peace and silence, you are reserved. When you travel solo, you'll think about the things in your life. You suddenly figure out what's going on. This is a perfect comfort to yourself.

2. You'll love yourself even more
There are number of reasons to hate yourself when you are surrounded by the chaos of the world. You hate yourself for doing nothing or for doing everything. But travelling alone, you'll figure out who's your real friend, you befriend yourself. There's only one you.

3. You'll be assertive
This is a time for adventure. You travel solo, you'll never know what's going to happen or who you'll meet. It's a total blank, but you're ready to color it. Loneliness will pass, because you found yourself talking, laughing with these different people.

4. EAT
This time it's your choice. You have no doubt of eating your fave sandwhiches, nachos or fish head curry, by thinking if your friends like it or not. It's all up to you.

5. A chance of having a total freedom
You're the driver of your car, you're the leader of this journey, the captain of your ship. You'll be independent, doing whatever you wanted, going whenever you wanted. It is a passion of your mind.

Read More

16 compelling lines that will leave you an aftermath.

1.  No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.

2.  Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

3. As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.

4. Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresea, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, Albert Einstein, etc…

5. No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.


6. Be happy.  Be yourself.  If others don’t like it, then let them be.  Happiness is a choice.  Life isn’t about pleasing everybody.

7.  If you don’t like something, change it.  If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.

8. There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.


9.   You don’t drown by falling in the water.  You drown by staying there.

10. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.  Don’t save it for a special occasion; today is special.


11. Never do something permanently foolish just because you are temporarily upset.


12. Too many people buy things they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t know.  


13.  When you have to start compromising yourself and your morals for the people around you, it’s probably time to change the people around you.

14.   Someone else doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be right.

15.  Happiness is not determined by what’s happening around you, but rather what’s happening inside you.  Most people depend on others to gain happiness, but the truth is, it always comes from within.

16.  Love and appreciate your parents.  We are often so busy growing up, we forget they are also growing old.

Comment your favorite saying or maybe you can share your most overpowering line, tell me about it!

Read More

HARD. SWEET. TASTE. (My Own Version Of Liz Gilbert’s EAT. PRAY. LOVE.)

These past few weeks I’ve been reading a book from Liz Gilbert’s personal experiences and concurrence about the existence of her life. This book personally touches my heart and even my soul, for some reasons, while reading some part of her line; I suddenly stop reading and take a moment of myself by realizing that I also want to feel the same way she did feel. For now, this has been one of my favorite books and I also want to share to you the greatness of this book.

I decided to make my own version of this book and also trying to change the title that is related to my OWN experiences.

                “Even in my underpants, I feel different”

                                                                                                -Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

HARD

I named the first part of my journey as hard, denoting that for me before the sweet life, you have to taste the hard part of your meal. It may be bitter, sour, too sweet or spicy. It depends on how you denote your “Hard meal”. But for me, I’ve been with those tastes. I experienced the bitter part of my hard meal. I’ve been broken too many times, I’ve been disappointed and surely been depressed for over thinking things that no matter how hard you think, it still doesn’t solve any of the problems. Sometimes I can’t control my thoughts, I overwhelmed with the ideas and thoughts coming out of my mind. I also experienced that sour taste of life, sometimes life gave me lemons but I made Taro tea instead of lemonade. Sometimes I can’t cope up. Life isn’t that unfair, yes he gave me a sweet life, but after tasting it I am not enjoying anymore, it is too sweet for my tooth, I might have a tooth ache. But don’t you worry sometimes it is too spicy that it heats up my nerves. It may be some adventures, some thrilling moment I’ve get to experienced or sometimes it is just a bubble, nothing out of it. I’ve been into a lot and I thought so you are. We all ate our “hard meal” but that just doesn’t stop, we have to remember that there’s still a dessert, a sweet dessert…  not too sweet, not too dull, just perfect the way it is.

SWEET

This is the benefit of the human welfare; we all have the chance to taste our desserts, it is given to us, you just have to SEE it before TASTING it. It is your choice between living in the grey line or stepping out of it. I am happy to taste a sweet dessert after a long day of hard work, it is all worth it. The important thing is to balance it, don’t taste too much; it might cause you a diabetes. What I’ve mostly learned in life is to patiently wait for the perfect dessert to be offer to you. Not all desserts are meant for you to taste, some are just life-offering piece, and life gives you a bit of taste and an aftertaste. But sooner, life will give you the dessert you’ve always wanted.

TASTE

For me, this is Liz’ “Pray” part, you’ve been full, you’ve been into the hard meal, then the dessert and of course, you’ve tasted them all. The catch here is, how do you respond to that taste? How will you manage to decide after tasting? Will you eat again? Or will you just finish the meal and get up? After the taste, sure you want to have a drink? Yes? And that’s essential. Do not just eat, but taste and then drink. Same as in life, do not just pass the problem, learn from it and then move forward and try again.

                “To find the balance you want, this is what you must become. You must keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that it’s like you have four legs, instead of two. That way, you can stay in the world. But you must stop looking at the world through your head. You must look through your HEART, instead. That way you will know GOD”

                                                                                -Ketut Liyer

Read More

The A to Z language of Teenagers

ASL- “netspeak” term used from one person to another to ask them their “age, sex, and location.” It is usually used in a chatting situation with someone you don’t know.   

Bae- Term used to designate ‘Baby’ or ‘Babe’ for teenage couples. Like “Hey Bae what you doin’? Can you come here right now?” Quite they didn’t know that some languages used ‘Bae’ as a term for ‘Poop’. Yeah. ‘POOP’

Checkin out-  Going home or dying.  "That fool is goin' to be checkin' out tonight." To look at someone of the opposite sex in interest.  "Check out that blondie over there.”

Dude - A term to informally address an individual. An exclamation used when something is astonishing or amazingly cool. “Dude you better get up or else…”

Epic fail- If something fails though the work seems so easy. If a fail is a fail in life, then an epic fail is a fail of giant proportions.

Friends with benefits- A description for a type of relationship where friends enjoy casual sex with no strings attached. Purely recreational sex.  ""I saw you coming out of Gina's apartment this morning. Are you guys friends with benefits now?" Yeah Like Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake or Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher.

Gangsta- A gangster. One who acts, dresses and talks like a gang member.  "Jesse, what size are those pants? 45? You look like a gansta!"  Yeah “SHE’S DATING THE GANGSTA!”

Homie- Old word (derived from the Hispanic Americans who used "homes" as a label for others) that means friend or companion.  As for, “Yo Guys these are my homies!”

IDK- Acronym for “I don’t Know” Like who cares? Or does it really mean they don’t know. “IDK what are you’re doing”

Juiced- To get drunk or hammered.  "That kid is so juiced.”

K.Dot- Like to assess that “Okay whatever.” Or “Fine, you say so”. To end the conversation.

LMAO- Another acronym used in texting and secret code in reference to “laughing my ass off."  "When Jessica fell in that puddle I LMAO.”

MoMoL- Used specially in Philippines, Acronym for “Make-out, Make-out lang” Like foreplay. Usually used by couples.

Newbie (NooB)- Someone who is new to a particular activity, specifically a game, concept or forum. “Hi guys I’m a newbie here”

OOTD- “Outfit of the day” usually tagged in instagram accounts, twitter or facebook. Used to point out the dress, clothes or outfit that teenager’s wear.

Photo bomb- When a person or object is in a picture accidentally or intentionally and as a result, ruins the photo.

Queen- A homosexual male who is extremely flamboyant and exemplifies many female traits and gestures.  "I've seen some gay people in my life, but that fool is straight up a queen." 

Real Talk- Like saying “No, seriously dude, let’s have a real talk”. The Truth or something very serious. 

Selfie- Famous word used for taking pictures and having a solo picture.

Throw back - A vintage basketball or football jersey. Or a term used in social media accounts to designate a vintage picture, like an old photograph.

Unfriend-  To remove a person from your list of friends or contacts on a social networking site.  

Vogues- Wide wheels, sometimes with white walls.

Wapakels-  Like saying “I don’t give a damn”, “I don’t care” as to say “Whatever”

Xlicious- A term used to describe something that is pleasing to the eye, something that is beuatifal to look at, or someone who is dressed really nice.  "Yo, Henry lookin' xlicious in that suite!" or "That new Lexus is xlicious.

YOLO- An acronym for "You Only Live Once". A term often employed after making an irrational or snap decision.  “This is the best day of my Life #YOLO”

Zoned out/zonen- A term used to refer to the similar actions of daydreaming, unaware of the moment, usually lost in deep thought. The actions of a person who is intoxicated and unable to control their thoughts.  "Leave Matt alone. He's zoned out.

For more Slang Languages of Teenagers:

http://www.thesource4ym.com/SlangDictionary/SlangDictionary.aspx

Read More

Coping with flashbacks

1. Tell yourself that you are having a flashback, and that you are safe now.
2. Remind yourself that the worst is over. The feelings and sensations you are experiencing are memories of the past. The actual event has already occurred and you survived.
3. Breathe. When we get scared we stop breathing normally. As a result, our body begins to panic from the lack of oxygen, which in itself causes a great deal of panic feelings; pounding in the head, tightness, sweating, feeling faint, shakiness, and dizziness. When we breathe deeply enough, the panic feeling can decrease. Breathing deeply means breathing in so that your diaphragm expands. If you were to put your hand on your stomach, your stomach would push against your hand when you inhale.
4. Get grounded. This means stamping your feet on the ground to remind yourself that you have feet and can get away now if you need to. (There may have been times before when you could not get away, now you can.) Being aware of all five senses can also help you ground yourself.
5. Reorient to the present. Begin to use your five senses in the present. Look around and see the colours in the room, the shapes of things, the people near, etc. Listen to the sounds in the room: your breathing, traffic, birds, people, cars, etc. Feel your body and what is touching it: your clothes, your own arms and hands, the chair, or the floor supporting you.
6. Get in touch with your need for boundaries. Sometimes when we are having a flashback we lose the sense of where we leave off and the world begins, as if we do not have skin. Wrap yourself in a blanket, hold a pillow or stuffed animal, go to bed, sit in a closet, any way that you can feel yourself truly protected from the outside.
7. Get support. Depending on your situation you may need to be alone or may want someone near you. In either case it is important that your close ones know about flashbacks so they can help with the process, whether that means letting you be by yourself or being there with you.
8. Take the time to recover. Flashbacks can be very powerful. Give yourself time to make the transition from this powerful experience. Don’t expect yourself to jump into other activities right away. Take a nap, a warm bath, or some quiet time. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Do not beat yourself up for having a flashback.
9. Honour your experience. Appreciate yourself for having survived that horrible time. Respect your body’s need to experience a full range of feelings.
10. Be patient. It takes time to heal. It takes time to learn appropriate ways of taking care of yourself and developing effective ways of coping in the here and now. 

Read More

Things that steal your happiness

It is easy to be miserable but so hard to be happy— the real happiness everyone desires. It is easy to nag on your job, on your life, on your partner, on your family, on your business—it easy to find a root for you to be alone, depressed, sad and therefore far from your happiness. At some point, Angel Chernoff wrote the 10 Habits That Steal Your Happiness and I am here to sort of discuss these habits that usually ruin you, consciously or not.

(1)   Focusing on everyone’s story except your own.-What other people business are not yours to mind on. Remember, you have your own life and of course they have. Don’t depend on other stories of success, of victory. You have to bring your own shot in life.  You have everything you need to become what you are capable of becoming. It is you that controls your life so keep that in mind.

(2)   Waiting for the perfect moment.- Not true. If I had to answer I would say definitely no. There is no such thing as perfect, and therefore there is no perfect moment.  You don’t have to wait for the perfect stars to align, or for your horoscope to tell you that today is perfect, you don’t have to believe that in this day when it’s perfect it is all good. The real thing is that it’s your willingness to do that decision and feeling right about it. You will come to succeed not by finding a perfect moment, but by learning to see and use life’s imperfections perfectly.

(3)     Working for nothing more than a paycheck.- Work without interest is imprisonment. What I just wanted to say is that work and enjoy then you got pay. It’s not all about the money darling, you live by it day by day so why not enjoy working and got pay at the same time? Think about it.  This is your life; your work will fill a large percentage of it.  It’s not all about the money; it’s about you.  Ignore the propaganda, especially from people who say, “Don’t let your work define you.”  Reverse this message and mediate on it:  “I will do work that defines me.” 

(4)     Harboring feelings of hate.- Hate cannot be cured with another hate. As Martin Luther King Jr. so profoundly said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”  It will only eat us and will make us blind in order to see the light of happiness. Forget of hating and just love. You only live once. Don’t make fuss about it.

(5)     Holding tight to worries and fears.- It is usual for us to worry to fear something about anything or about someone. It is inevitable. But what is wrong is if we keep holding on to it and never letting go then from there we forget the simplest thing on how to be happy. When you start peeling them off, all the worries, fear and strange feelings will all be gone and a happy productive person will show.

(6)     Dwelling on difficulties.- A bad day is just a bad day.  Choose not to make it anything more.  Take note of the idea that every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day. Don’t let this difficulty let you down and suddenly change your day into nothing but a frown. Every day brings new lessons and new possibilities.  There is always a way to take the next step forward on the path you've chosen.

(7)     Constantly seeking fleeting contentment.- There are two variations of contentment in life – fleeting and enduring.  The fleeting type is derived from instants of material comfort, while the enduring type is attained through the gradual growth of your mind.  It is known that the latter is superior to the other.

(8)     Trying to make a big difference all at once.-Don’t try hard of making a big difference by just a snap.  If you want to make a difference in the world, start with the world around you.  However, instantly making a difference in a few lives is entirely possible and usually fairly easy.  You just have to focus on one person at a time and start with the one closest to you. There are some points that you didn’t know that you’re making a big difference on other’s life. Just stay positive and touch other lives not because it’s your job but because you wanted to make a difference however, not all at once.

(9)     Holding on to someone who hurts you.- Let go and move on. Sometimes you just have to let someone go and walk away. But don’t let the idea turn you down. When someone closes the door for you, take heart the window will open.

(10) Over-amplifying the importance of physical attractiveness.-Infatuating yourself with someone simply for what they look like on the outside is like choosing your favorite food based on color instead of taste (Papertowns).  It makes no sense. There are some things that cannot buy just because of the outside looks, you have to look deeper, for a more meaningful idea.

Read More

MOTIVATE YOURSELF!

Sh*t happens. All the time.

You make mistakes. You screw up. Things don’t go the way you hoped..

There are times when we feel so down, depressed, sad, insecure and suddenly we just feel that the there is something wrong with you or the people around you. Sometimes, we don’t have the verge to tell it to anyone maybe we’re shy, clueless of what will they think, keeping your pride or just sometimes you feel at that moment that you don’t have a friend and you’re alone. Sometimes we all think that we’re insignificant, that we can’t do these tasks ahead of us and we have no direction in life.

It’s not a disease people. We all came to the point of acting like Edward Scissorhands being so depressed and cover yourself with sheets. We don’t have that thing. We can still manage to live a life beyond imagination. We can achieve dreams and set for our goals and aspire for it. We can still motivate ourselves and learn through it. People’s minds are so powerful.

Whilst I’m certainly no expert at this whole life game, there are a few methods I’ve found that work quite well for me when I’m feeling stuck in a rut.

(1)  Write down the problems that makes you feel down

It is a way of realizing and at the same time contributing to your state of mind as a way of dealing with all these problems whether it’s a small thing up to the biggest issue of your life. It will make you somehow make a plan of how to deal with it and then there comes of how motivating yourself through it. It’s the first step of realizing what should you deal with these problems in your life.

(2)  Let go of the ideal plan.

We have to accept it, not all of the things we used to plan will turn out that way. It was a way of planning in order for your mind to organize things in that day, it is what you made up. But reality is unpredictable; no one can plan ahead of things. It is always surprising. Don’t expect that what you plan will eventually happen. You have to accept the things that change that unfortunately didn’t go as what you had planned.

 “To help yourself, you must be yourself. Be the best that you can be. When you make a mistake, learn from it, pick yourself up and move on.” Dave Pelzer

(3)   Take baby steps

It’s like doing tasks from the smallest to the biggest. If you think that problems occur as a whole bunch of shits then you would figure that you can’t make it and it is just so hard to try to do it. So the cure here is take baby steps. Start from the bite-size tasks and work out a timetable for getting it done.  Don't be too ambitious otherwise you'll fall behind and end up back at square one, but plan properly and give yourself a reasonable window of time to get each piece in place. No huge success starts from what it is, it always starts from the very beginning.

(4)Set some goals

Without goals, you probably will not know if you are really accomplishing anything. Set some small goals and then try your best to achieve it and work hard. It will be good practice for you if you have not done that before.

(5) Find out what motivates you – it is not the same for everyone.

It seems like the answer of the question but it is true. Find what’s inspiring you. We all have this kind of different things that will boost our energy and therefore making us inspired again or motivated to do the tasks. For example, some people find comfort through money, music, family, relationship, TV shows, movies, or idolize actors. Whatever it is, it is one of the ways of inspiring yourself that will lead you to be better and find comfort again and so will guarantee that you’ll work will done finish.

(6)  Find Your Itch 

What is keeping you from working. Don’t let the itch continue without isolating it and removing the problem. Are you unmotivated because you’re tired, afraid, bored, restless or angry? Maybe it is because you aren’t sure you have time or delegated tasks haven’t been finished yet.

(7)  Deconstruct Your Fears 

If you need to achieve those tasks, destroy the entire negative aura especially the fear. I’m sure you don’t have a phobia about getting stuff done. But at the same time, hidden fears or anxieties can keep you from getting real work completed. Isolate this fear and you’ll make yourself confident again to handle the cases around you.

(8)  Start with just five

Try the five minute rule.  Tell yourself this simple phrase: "I'm just going to work on this for five minutes. Five minutes and then, if I want to, I can do something else for a while." The five-minute rule works magic. You know why? Because more often than not that little push will be enough to get you going and keep going until you've finished the task. It’s like having yourself work and then take a break and it will not hassle you or panic you. You’ll definitely make things work out by then.

(9)  Think outwards.

It is easy to think the negatives than to try to imagine the positive. It is easy to pity oneself but hard to motivate. But actually you just need to think outwards. Look at the ways that can help you maybe it’s our friends, partners, family members and by just accident even the strangers. You’ll find that everyone you meet has problems. You’re not alone.

(10) Move your body.

Exercise can be great if used in a constructive way. It’s a good way to get back to our primal roots, and hit the reset button on those negative thoughts. My head usually feels a lot clearer after a run, climb, grapple or workout. It’s like meditating yourself throughout it. A little exercise can somehow make you feel good and refresh and therefore, will let your mind to think better and not pushing yourself too hard..

(11)Take a rest.

Relax. Take a deep breath, and slow down. It’s not like all problems are manage by you. All people have that. But some learned to manage it well. Take a meditation session, a hot bath or a massage. A long nap perhaps. We all get tired and we need a rest. Maybe after that you’ll find yourself again heading forward.

(12) Shout it from the rooftops

Don’t keep it too much from yourself or inside your chest. Shout it out. It will make you feel good somehow. Tell the world and your pride and self respect won't let you back down.

(13) Embrace gratitude.

Think of this. You think all of the problems you have but you forget to acknowledge the things you have, the blessings you have.  Remind yourself that you are grateful for the things you have and some other people are still finding it. Even mistakes and challenges. They’re opportunities to see what we’re made of. They give us a chance to grow. Remember that being happy doesn’t mean you have no problems at all. It means you’ve become better at dealing with them.

YOU CAN MAKE IT. I BELIEVE IN YOU. HAVE A GREAT DAY 

Read More