Hello, darkness my old friend...
Maybe: It started out when you felt nothing for weeks. It’s like
gazing into the stars but not feeling overwhelmed or excited. You looked into
the stars but not really seeing them, staring into nothingness. Then you felt okay, for days, for weeks and even for months. The idea
of getting numb suddenly came by like an uninvited visitor. Then it crawls into
your deepest nerve, paralyzing you. You don’t want to move, to eat nor go to
work. You just wanted to lie in bed for days, looking at your sad dog beside you. You felt empty again.
To tell you now, we don’t know how it really started or the
reason why it started. Maybe because of some circumstances that happened to you
that you really didn’t like and never been proud of, or maybe because of some
people drowning you, that unknowingly you’re letting them in into your lungs,
then it’s getting harder to breathe or maybe just because of the life you have
that never excites you anymore, like finding your whole meaning or purpose in
the world but never having any answers, or maybe because you don’t feel loved
or liked by someone or just even hating yourself, or maybe because you
lose your friends to keep in touch or maybe because your family never ask how your
day went or asking if you are okay, or maybe just the feeling that people
aren’t so nice at all after you’ve shown them the real you, or maybe just
because you hate yourself for being stupid, for not being cool
enough to join a group, for your mistakes, for failures or for the love that’s never been
appreciated. Maybe you’re just suddenly tired, giving up.
I don’t know. We don’t know.
What you just know, is that it enters into your system like a dark smoke, creeping
into your nerves, injecting Valium. Then you allowed them.
into your nerves, injecting Valium. Then you allowed them.
Now, the thing is, you’ve never shown this to anyone. You acted
okay, you acted fine, you acted happy and it turns out, you’re an actress in your
own movie. But no one’s watching.
You’re so sad because you started losing yourself
How to get back?
Really, you just don’t know.
Then like a thunder it, shocked you.
You have to choose the emotions you wanted to enter into
your mind. Mind is a very powerful organ in your body. It controls you for some
reasons.
The mind is the devil’s playground. But your heart is what
God has made you to wake up.
Wake up from the couch that you’ve been sleeping in. If you
stay too long in your bed, they’ll take away your things. Remember that.
So you have to get up.
Maybe we forget to pray; maybe we’re the ones who are
detaching ourselves from friends, family, home, or the world. It's not your fault.
And it's okay to acknowledge your feelings, because it is you.
But I also do believe, that beyond all of these, you are one of a hell strong person. You are so strong to hold onto these things, for carrying them and I love you for that.
But I also do believe, that beyond all of these, you are one of a hell strong person. You are so strong to hold onto these things, for carrying them and I love you for that.
Don’t let that
define you. Don’t let it in.
But right now, I want to you to give yourself a tap on your shoulder. You did good and honestly you can be more. Now, try to smile a bit. Inhale and exhale.
Try to focus on the good things. Try to let the light in. Don't be too hard on yourself. Accept yourself fully. Life's too short, get up and raise your arms. Let's try again.
But right now, I want to you to give yourself a tap on your shoulder. You did good and honestly you can be more. Now, try to smile a bit. Inhale and exhale.
Try to focus on the good things. Try to let the light in. Don't be too hard on yourself. Accept yourself fully. Life's too short, get up and raise your arms. Let's try again.
We’re not perfect and that's okay. Get the grip loose. It’s time to take a deep breath and get
high on fumes.
