Dear Britney Spears,
Your song really fits my in-“between” problem. I’m totally
into your song. And I wonder why these words came up. Why? Did you also write
this as for realizing some changes in you? Physically? Mentally? Emotionally?
Cause honestly if you do, then we have the same track baby. It started when I
feel lonely, yes lonely for most of the times. I don’t know but sometimes I
just started to think things in a different way and surprisingly it made me feel
lonely. When I was a girl I don’t give a damn if my skirt was too short, if my
hair doesn’t flow perfectly, if my body was sexy or not. I just ate a lot of junk
and store it in my trunk. I don’t care about the world. I just wanna play and
watch endless Disney films. It made me happy you know. But this time it’s
totally different. I happen to know the word “metamorphosis”. Yes, just like a
cockroach (eggs) turns into an adult stage. I am much more different now. I
know I have to take some precautions because now, I am not a Girl. I care about
more of my looks now. I care too much it hurts my head. I care about the prom,
about what facial cream to use, about what dress to choose, about the cool guy
in school, about my friends, about my parents adding rule no.67 “curfew hours”.
I get so lonely about it sometimes. Because I’m not used to it but fortunately
I’m part of it. It’s inborn. It’s destined to every person—to constantly
change. This is it! It’s a mind game. I am not used to it. I am not ready for
the choices, the judgements, the decisions, and the people and especially about
myself. I am getting to know more about myself Britney and I am afraid I am
concern with your chosen lyrics in your song “Life doesn’t always go my way”. What’s
bugging me right now, is actually of becoming a Woman. Will I ever be a good
mom? Will I ever got a stable job and support myself? Will I ever meet the
right person to be with? Or will I just mess the whole things up? Sometimes I get
too sad and believe it or not I judge people… mostly about young kids. Because
now that I am a Lady, I am not used to seeing young couples kissing in PUBLIC
places, I mean really KISS, I get annoyed by looking at those pictures showing
some of her “flesh” and I am not an old maid to act like this. It’s just that I
am Lady now. I know in myself that I am starting to grow—deeply. I started to
see things differently and more seriously. I work hard now, I left the play
stage. But thinking about it, I am just a Lady, Not a girl… but also not a
Woman. My stage now is heading me for a new adventure right? For new learning’s
in life and maybe somehow prepare me for the next stage right? Well maybe. It
is possible. So “There is no need to protect me. It's time that I learn to face
up to this on my own. I've seen so much more than you know now, So don't tell
me to shut my eyes”. Maybe I just need some understanding right now, cause
honestly I am quite not sure about it either. “All I need is love a moment
that’s enough….”
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