12:40 made up poems

Heartbeats

Please don't walk away
don't fade away
don't rush into hush
Let me reveal, let me show
Then amidst all that,
please love me still.


If you're just a glitch
walk away.
I'm done with all the passer by
Let me have a real one.
The one that will stay
even if my hair turns to gray.


I don't need good mornings or good nights
if I can't lean on you during bad days
I don't need you to say eat on time
if you can't be there on waves
I don't need small talks
I need real ones.


I wish that today would finally be my day
a brand new start
a brand new life
I hope that finally I can call someone mine
a life with you
a moment to last
I pray that your love will never fade
a rain won't catch you cold
a sway won't make you go away.
So stay, please let it be you.

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Every Sunday is a Memory

Collection of made up poems by yours truly.

Click the link to download the file. 

:)

Every Sunday is a Memory.pdf

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4:40 Made up poems

(Made by yours truly :) 

I swam through the rivers of your soul

-it was so deep and void.

Made up of love’s sacrifices,

that’s never been returned.

How I love to dig down unto it more;

Even though my heart would explode.

You are like a shadow;

So vain and dishonest

I wanted you for all days,

Yet you came without rays.

I needed you when I don’t

Yet you’ve shown like before.

Unmade sheets are very special to me,

it is so honest that I can smell you from within.

It is so honest that I can play what memories lack.

It is so honest that I know I can’t have you back.

You leave me with a scar that’s naked.

Forever thorn, forever unshaken.

This is what you do when you left people’s heart out of the blue.

You show them how red can be hue.

How beautiful it is to meet a stranger,

not knowing you, not knowing him.

But stories are made for one another.

Goodbye to you my dearest man,

For once, I’ve been blown by your laugh,

For once, I’ve been shaken by your touch.

But now, for once, I’ve waken my soul to left you behind.

Simple things make the most of unexpected days.

It will give you peace you keep searching on unwanted scenes.

He’s like the last carousel ride in a fair;

Everyone’s done for the last trail,

Yet I am here round and around till I go.

My letters are not yet frozen,

It still has the mouth to speak out the words I long for you.

It is never been redesigned. It was always for you.

I watched through my window as the pink skies grow wider and wider.

It can fill up the whole town in its arm;

yet I’m still here yearning for love.

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Black bird fly (Beat depression!)

Hello, darkness my old friend...

Maybe: It started out when you felt nothing for weeks. It’s like gazing into the stars but not feeling overwhelmed or excited. You looked into the stars but not really seeing them, staring into nothingness. Then you felt okay, for days, for weeks and even for months. The idea of getting numb suddenly came by like an uninvited visitor. Then it crawls into your deepest nerve, paralyzing you. You don’t want to move, to eat nor go to work. You just wanted to lie in bed for days, looking at your sad dog beside you. You felt empty again.

To tell you now, we don’t know how it really started or the reason why it started. Maybe because of some circumstances that happened to you that you really didn’t like and never been proud of, or maybe because of some people drowning you, that unknowingly you’re letting them in into your lungs, then it’s getting harder to breathe or maybe just because of the life you have that never excites you anymore, like finding your whole meaning or purpose in the world but never having any answers, or maybe because you don’t feel loved or liked by someone or just even hating yourself, or maybe because you lose your friends to keep in touch or maybe because your family never ask how your day went or asking if you are okay, or maybe just the feeling that people aren’t so nice at all after you’ve shown them the real you, or maybe just because you hate yourself for being stupid, for not being cool enough to join a group, for your mistakes, for  failures or for the love that’s never been appreciated. Maybe you’re just suddenly tired, giving up.

I don’t know. We don’t know.

What you just know, is that it enters into your system like a dark smoke, creeping
into your nerves, injecting Valium. Then you allowed them.

Now, the thing is, you’ve never shown this to anyone. You acted okay, you acted fine, you acted happy and it turns out, you’re an actress in your own movie. But no one’s watching.

You’re so sad because you started losing yourself

How to get back?

Really, you just don’t know.

Then like a thunder it, shocked you.

You have to choose the emotions you wanted to enter into your mind. Mind is a very powerful organ in your body. It controls you for some reasons.

The mind is the devil’s playground. But your heart is what God has made you to wake up.

Wake up from the couch that you’ve been sleeping in. If you stay too long in your bed, they’ll take away your things. Remember that.

So you have to get up.

Maybe we forget to pray; maybe we’re the ones who are detaching ourselves from friends, family, home, or the world. It's not your fault. 

And it's okay to acknowledge your feelings, because it is you.
But I also do believe, that beyond all of these, you are one of a hell strong person. You are so strong to hold onto these things, for carrying them and I love you for that. 

Don’t let that define you. Don’t let it in.
But right now, I want to you to give yourself a tap on your shoulder. You did good and honestly you can be more. Now, try to smile a bit. Inhale and exhale.
Try to focus on the good things. Try to let the light in. Don't be too hard on yourself. Accept yourself fully. Life's too short, get up and raise your arms. Let's try again.

We’re not perfect and that's okay. Get the grip loose. It’s time to take a deep breath and get high on fumes.

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Where flowers bloom, where love grows. -My thoughts about love are growing.

My thoughts about love are finally growing, it’s finally maturing, and it’s finally taking its own path, making its own backyard.

Love is such a wonderful four letter word. But I have also come to realize that, with that four letter word another four letter words could sprout—Fear, Lust, Risk, Dare, Hurt, Care, Wait, Last, Like, Give, Hope and Many More. It’s like a mother giving birth to its children.

I love the idea of getting the love from watching movies, series or dramas. It feeds my mind to hope for something like that to happen to me. To make me believe that I can have someone like John Cusack in Serendipity, believing in fate, believing in destiny or just like every character of Ryan Gosling in a romantic film making you, making us want to love.

But somehow, I’ve come to realize, that these whole things of loving someone or just the word love itself is a tough one to catch. It’s a closed ring, between you and that ‘love’. You’ll be fighting one on one, blood by blood, and the winner takes it all.

I fell in love and it was a tough one.  I have learned so many things from it and from that kind of love I have experienced; I started to know what I wanted.

I want someone who can admire the less obvious in me, the one who can see deep inside of my smiling face, of my laughing dance or my crying eyes. I wanted a love that can see my reflections, someone that can’t judge me for my mistakes or failures or someone that can’t define me because of my wrong doings.

I want someone who can look me in the eyes so deep that it’ll bother for a moment but I can gaze back through him and everything around us will just be a blur.  I want someone whom I can dance in the kitchen while cooking or baking, someone who can dance with me in the rain or tag along with our favorite indie music.

Someone who can see me not wearing any fancy clothes or make-ups, but still see something in me that’s worth like the Heart of the Ocean. Someone who can be crazy with me at all times, the same wavelength I had. It’s like we are playing mind games but no one will win because both of us will get it.

I pray for someone who can make a song for me, not really making an original song but making a song his own song for me, owning it, that whenever I heard that song playing wherever I am, he’s the only one I can always think about.

Someone who can travel with me and be adventurous. Someone that can dream with me while gazing through the stars. Someone who can sip coffee with me in the morning and someone who can drink wine with me in the evening. Someone who is ready to learn new things with me. I water you, you water me, so we grow together. Someone I can lean on, happy or sad moments. Someone I can trust my life with it. Someone who never let go, someone who never leaves. Someone who will hold you until you fell asleep from crying. Someone who can laugh at your silly jokes. Someone who is honest.

Someone that is really meant for you.

Someone I can be with to pray every time.

Most of all, a person that I can also be that ‘someone’ to him.

Or maybe, just someone who can love me.

There's no harm in praying for someone like that to come into your life anyway. Who doesn't? Love makes you feel like a romantic writer anyway. 

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15 Thoughts about love that I always wanted my heart to remember

1. Find someone who admires you for something less obvious

2. You will never heal by going back to what broke you

3. Give love you never got

4. A person who values you would never put themselves in a position to lose you

5. You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free

6. You will never have to chase what wants to stay with you

7. If you have been brutally broken, but still have the courage to be gentle to others, then you deserve a love deeper than the ocean itself.

8. The person who did this to you is broken, not you

9. It's not love's job to punish you

10. The absence of a lover is not the absence of love, I am my own belly butterflies, my own sunshine, my own warmth

11. Go for someone who is not only proud to have you, but will also take every risk just to be with you

12. Love is not your savior. Love is the luxury after you save yourself

13. When you lose someone, it is never the exactly the same person who comes back

14. If you don't belong, don't be long

15. When someone leaves, it's because someone else is about to arise

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To all the boys we loved before

     

     **To the guy I’ve known for so long, who suddenly become my best friend, my super bud, my food buddy and my confidante, partners in crime for life right? Thanks for being with me all the time you never know how much I appreciate this kind of friendship that we have. It isn’t for just a good time, I know. It feels so easy to talk about anything with you and it feels so safe to share about my problems with you without being judged. I can get the most exact comments from you, no filter, no sugar coating of words, you just say the exact truth. We laugh at the most bizarre things, we act like brothers, we share the common grounds and I thank heavens for sending me a friend like you. No drama.

**To the guy I’ve already forgiven, now. Now is the time I guess, to fill my heart with forgiveness. I will never forget of course, but surely I can forgive you. I don’t want to dwell in that gloomy past. I love myself so I am forgiving you.

**To the guy I’ve met in a deserted lane. We’ve crossed the same path, made a quick glance to one another, held hands but eventually didn’t stay for too long, it’s okay. We didn’t push ourselves too hard. Maybe it’s right, it feels okay but not right for too long. It just happened that we’re walking on that lane for the same day, but have different journeys to take.

**To the guy I’ve hoped. I still didn’t get the chance to meet you or maybe I already did? I don’t know. Maybe we already crossed the path, tend to look on each other but never said anything. I’m wondering what kind of lesson I might get from you. But surely, we’ll know each other.

**To the guy I gave nothing but heartaches. I am deeply sorry. You met me at my worst, where all things just go wrong in my mind, where I can’t think straight, where my only concern is my well being. You love me but all I did was to break your heart. You’ll always be a part of my life, strange as it seems, I learned a lot from you.  Selfish to realize but yes, someone can love me and can offer his whole Universe.  Thank you and sorry, I know you’re doing well now and I wish you well.

**To the guy who crossed my path for a thousand times, I guess you’re free now. I can’t say more, cause all my letters in the past were always about you. So I’ll just stop here for good.

** To the guy, I’m giving my heart, please take care of it. Please have patience with it, please have it for a lifetime. Let’s be psychos, weirdos and crazy together. I can’t wait for the moment when the both of us are just two individuals, watching the sunset, watching the rain from outside, sipping coffee, reading books, going anywhere or nowhere, watching movies (Either X-men or Before sunset will do), telling our stories, fighting to worthless or significant topics we will encounter, or maybe just being us, just two individuals with the same insights and feelings. Let it be like an indie song. 

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